My husband, Bear and I are all headed to New York City a week from today for IAVA’s 3rd Annual Heroes Gala and to march in the parade for Veteran’s Day!  None of this would have happened if I didn’t have Bear by my side.  Not only would you not get me on a plane, but I wouldn’t even dare to be in THAT large of a crowd!  I am so excited about buying a dress for the event (that will HAVE to coordinate with my beautiful black lab) and I am looking forward to sharing all this with my husband.

Bear and I haven’t really been anywhere since Trick or Treating on Saturday with the family.  He did really well and I did alright.  He isn’t an overnight insta-fix, but he sure makes a difference!  I was starting to get overwhelmed and we headed home.

Today Bear and I are headed to Walmart and Hobby Lobby (and possibly Hancock Fabrics) to try and buy some more tulle for more tutus.  After some of my friends saw the one I made for Katie for Halloween they have offered to buy some off me made in Christmas colors!  I already have 4 paying orders!! So that will also help keep me busy and feeling productive…

What gets me really down and feeling low is when I don’t feel like I contribute to my family.  It’s hard from going from the sole bread winner (when I was both married to my last as well as my years of single life) to now being someone who spends but doesn’t bring in money.  I get disability checks from the VA but that pretty much covers my son being in his school and some of the monthly gas.  I know selling 4 tutus isn’t going to make me rich, but it really gives me some sense of self worth since I am doing something for the money and not merely getting money because I’m messed up in the head.  I know that there are people out there who would love to get paid to do nothing.  That’s why scams are so popular, but that isn’t me.  I could apply, and receive Social Security Disability, but I just can’t bring myself to it.  If something happened and there was just no way to make ends meet, I would sell off everything I owned before asking for SSDI. I don’t think there is a thing wrong with people who do get it, if you qualify and need the money, go for it… but as long as there is some way for me to make some money, I’ll be doing that first.

What is funny is that I have always avoided Hobby Lobby because the isles are so small, it usually has a lot of people in there… just a big stressful place to be.  But I had Bear with me and really wanted to make Katie something special for Halloween so I braved it, with Bear, and it went great!



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