Okay, so I really need some school clothes.  I usually wear the same 3 or 4 shirts… and two of those shirts look exactly alike.  I have zero fashion sense either.  I’m just a mess to look at I swear!  I would love some new clothes to get me feeling great about school.  I would also like to get a new backpack.  I already bought Bear everything he would need for school.  He has his extra bag, a new grooming brush and some wipes to make him look (and smell) great between baths.

I always get nervous going out with him.  I think Bear behaves just fine, it’s the people around us who don’t.  I hate the looks, and stares, the whispers, the melodramatic reactions.  The flip side, the part I hate more, is not having Bear there and me having cold sweats, panicking, being paranoid and leaving without getting anything I needed.  I really do need Bear with me.  Even the rare occasion I didn’t bring him in a place with me, I need him in the car with me.  He sits on the passenger seat and keeps me calm.  When someone cuts me off or makes me really mad on the road I reach over and pet him.

I look forward to school for a few reasons.  Yes, I would love to finally get a degree (even if it’s just an AA or AS).  I’ve been going to school what seems like forever and have nothing other than odd facts to show for it.. lol.  I am also excited because now I will have to go out with Bear every single day.  We need that.  We need a little nudging to get us out and about and around people.  I really don’t think I would have been ready to go back to school without Bear.  I also am hopeful that while in school I can also pursue my elusive NDI job.  I hope that maybe by getting my act together like I have, by going to therapy and obviously working so hard to better myself, that maybe if I can get in the good graces of the NDI lab out here that maybe… just maybe they will think of me if something opens up.

When I first got out of the Air Force, and when it would, theoretically been the easiest to get on somewhere as an NDI tech, I did try to get back into it on the civilian side.  I went to the Navy base out this way because they had a program for people who just got out and they help them get into their jobs as civilians.  Well, my luck is I got the guy who was on his way out.  I sent him my resume and followed up with the people he told me to follow up with (he never gave me the right address or numbers to these people though).  I never heard from him again.  One thing that may have hurt my chances was that I was pregnant (and starting to show) at the time.  I think he worried I would quit a job if I had the baby while employed.  Anyway, so I wrote that off as something I probably wouldn’t be able to get hired in again.  Fast forward a few years.  I now live in a different city and while doing a job search I discovered that there is a contracted NDI lab out here at the Armory!  They work on the Army helos!  So now, my mission, while also going to school, has been to find some way to get in contact with these people and see if I can do anything to maybe get a foot in the door… Or at least so they can think of me for a temp or fill in person for now.  You see.. the job I had has very very VERY few people who are trained in it!

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