So far school is going okay. I feel it must all be about how I look at things. Normally people stress about failing a class because they could lose their scholarship, be penalized by having to pay for a class that maybe their scholarship was paying for, or it would lower their GPA and maybe they wouldn’t be able to get into a program (such as nursing). I am fortunate enough to not have to worry about any of that. I go to school under the VA’s Vocational Rehabilitation program. This means that I have an occupational or educational impairment to a degree that it would be difficult or unlikely that I would succeed in going to school on my own or have a more difficult time finding suitable employment due to my combat related disability. Because I go through this program, there is more room for me to “mess up” without being penalized. I shouldn’t stress out about this math class because if I do fail it, I just take it again next semester. I learn what I can this semester, try my hardest, but don’t stress about it. I can make up the F on my GPA with almost any other class. Math is my weak point and any class where paper writing is involved would be my strong point. I can usually understand what I have read (even if it may include me looking up every few words to fully understand what the author was trying to convey). I understand psychology and sociology (*snicker*). I can generally follow directions so in Biology I usually do well in the labs and I am okay at studying terms. It’s when you throw numbers in the mix my brain just throws its arms up and says, “Nope… Not doing it!”.
As well as trying to view school in a more optimistic manner I am also trying to find an outlet for this anxious energy I have. I did join a gym last night. It’s one I feel comfortable at. It is fairly small and open. The people all seem nice. Let’s not forget what I think to be a major perk…. the treadmill has its OWN tv! I just plugged in my headphones and watched “The First 48” on A&E while I did my running! I did 45 minutes of cardio (15 on a bike and 30 on the treadmill). When I checked my heart rate on the treadmill it got up to nearly 190. All this means is my heart is out of shape! I predict that if I keep up going 3 days a week doing the treadmill that I can get it down. I know I could have done more because when I woke up this morning I could still move everything. This means there was a lot more run in me! I just felt like my heart was doing all sorts of crazy things so I called it a day. I got my mile in (ran most of it) though.