When I was deployed for the buildup of the Iraq war, my mom sent me a care package.  In it she placed a Gund bear.  Yes I was 23 (I think?) but the total alienation by my peers left me very damaged emotionally.  Having that stupid bear there really helped.  Like a child afraid of the dark I reached for that bear every time I was scared or feeling down (ok.. crying).  I got very attached to it.  I slept with it every night.  Even when I came home I still slept with that bear.  Yes, even when staying over with a boyfriend I brought the bear with me.  I also brought him on my last deployment to Iraq where the para-rescue guys jumped a mission with him!

After I got out of the military I still slept with that bear.  I eventually got pregnant with my son and when my son was about 2 years old, while I was napping with my Gund bear, it was stolen by my son… I couldn’t take it from him. Every time I tried it just broke his heart.  Well, my son is now 4 1/2 years old and I saw him abusing my poor bear that had been with me everywhere.  I took the bear from him.  I went online and was lucky enough to find another one (I think it may be a tad smaller than mine) that is almost exactly the same.  I am so excited about my son getting to enjoy the bear!

So this had me thinking.  How ironic is it that my one comfort through everything was a teddy bear, and the being which brings me the most comfort (outside my prescribed benzos…) would also be a Bear?  My Grund is not “just a bear” and my Bear is not “just a dog”.

One thought

  1. Ironic, oh yes. but also meant to be. Bear is so much more valuable than any peers, friends, co-workers who don’t support you. keep up the writing, it helps others too. : )


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