We went to Florida for about a week and I decided that if I had a condo on a beach I would be much more relaxed!!  Listening to the waves and seeing the deep blue water with the moon dancing on the water at night was so calming and peaceful.  I didn’t need my medication once the whole time.

I am back home and back to reality.. My mind is racing and I am so stressed out.  I need help with the running of the house now more than ever.  I love my kids more than anything and it breaks my heart that I am not the mommy they deserve.  I beat myself up so much when it comes to them.  I let my insecurities about my mothering skills interfere with ever really getting to interact with them on a level they deserve.  When we were on the beach I felt more comfortable as a mom.  I watched my son laugh and smile and love on me.  My daughter (though sick with ear aches and a molar growing in) was actually enjoying herself and all about wanting to be with mommy.  It was nice!

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