Bear has been an amazing asset to me these past two years. Where before I could barely leave my house, he slowly opened up a world to me. I kept taking him over and over again to places I would not have dared to go on my own (walmart?) until I was confident and comfortable enough to go without him. Because of Bear I am now able to get in my car alone to travel to familiar places. Some places took longer than others before I became comfortable, but it seems like a lot of the world has opened up to me. Some placed and situations, I feel as though I may need him for a long time still. Starting school is one of them. Although I am getting more comfortable with my college campus, I still need Bear by my side. It’s just too stressful going through the halls when they are full of people. I noticed if I take a night class though and there are fewer people, I am able to let go and do it alone most times.
Traveling out-of-state though is not something I would ever do without him. I am terrified of flying, of airports, of all the commotion going on around me. So I am very nervous about flying out tomorrow without him– of being around new people, in a new environmant, a new situation– all without my Bear. It isn’t that I am simply comfortable about being out without him. I had to look at all aspects (as I always need to do when bringing him somewhere) of what is going on and I have to put HIS best interest, as well as mine, first. Would he be of assistance to me, of course, but at what cost to him? And at what cost to me?
The high for tomorrow in Washington D.C. is expected to be 94 with a high of 100 on Friday. At home, when highs (before the heat index even) are like that, I don’t bring Bear out. Have you ever tried to walk barefoot when it is 90+ outside? I just can’t justify that with him. As well as the heat with him and his paws, I have to also take into account that I am 32 weeks pregnant. I cannot imagine being this big, pregnant, and uncomfortable, and trying to walk Bear around looking for grass and then bending down to pick up his presents.. lol! I don’t bend down for much these days!
So tomorrow I will get on a plane alone for the first time in I don’t know how long. I will be flying alone and staying alone. I am scared as hell but this is for a good reason and I just have to trust that everything will be okay.
I will be sure to update with pictures when I get home.