I posted on Tuesday that I was going to try to delete my Facebook account.  I made it (with some cheating using Bear’s account) only a few days.  I don’t think I officially made it a whole day before remembering I had his account I could use!!  This did give me the idea to clean out my friend list some more though.  I can still use the things I liked about having an account, and get rid of the things I didn’t.  It is still sad that I find out major life events about my friends and family via the internet… But I guess you either adapt or be left behind.

I will admit that it does hurt my feelings when people I considered friends will write to other people and blow me off.  My solution?  Remove them from my list.  Does that mean they are no longer my real life friends?  Well, do you have real life friends who are not on your “Friends” list?  It doesn’t mean I have literally (or figuratively) deleted their friendship from my life, it just means I am settling into a new role as their friend.  I am obviously not someone they care to share things with so why pine away or seem desperate?  I also deleted people I have NEVER met or spoken with!  Stupid Facebook games!  I needed a million friends to play Frontierville!  Now my newsfeed is clogged up!  I know I can hit the “ignore” button, but why?  I can just remove them from my list.

On to real life.  As I have posted before I am pregnant with the THIRD.  I know, right?  Who would have thought that I, the person who hated the smell of babies, who once babysat a little boy and put his diaper on so loose that when he crawled away pooping he left a trail… But yes, here I am.  By my estimates I have roughly 4 weeks left to go.  I am finally getting things together for him.  I purchased a car seat on Monday, ordered his Moses basket Tuesday (it should arrive the end of August!) and have purchased some odds and ends.  It is nice to know that, Heaven forbid, he came today, he has a place to sleep (if he doesn’t mind using Katie’s pink crib sheets), something to ride home in, something to eat (milk is free here!) and something to cover his little butt (I’ve got one bag of newborn diapers and two bags of size 1).   He has a name and *stuff*.  It has been a rough pregnancy, as I am sure every pregnant woman would say.  In the start I had a lot of bleeding issues and we weren’t even sure if there was a baby in there.  The blood sac was larger than what should have been the baby.  It took three weeks of ultrasounds before we could see that a baby was in fact growing in there.  This made bonding with him especially hard.  I didn’t want to get too attached out of the fear that he could be gone at any minute.  To say I am relieved to have made it this far (34 weeks yesterday) is an understatement.  I look forward to having my baby boy, who we named Jonah (and yes.. I feel like the Whale that ate the Jonah right now!) after his great-grandfather.

One good side effect to pregnancy is that my nightmares have almost all but stopped.  This happened with the last two as well.  I do not, however, suggest pregnancy as a cure for nightmares!  Although the nightmares are gone, it seems to have aggravated other symptoms.  I am sure it is a combination of hormones as well as being off my medications.  I am looking forward to when I can resume some sort of medication.  I will probably never want to go back on Cymbalta or Effexor, as the getting on and getting off of them are especially brutal.  I am open to finding a doctor who is willing to help me find something that has a balance to it.

Also, in two weeks Bear and I have another inspection to make sure he still minds me.  Little stinker better!  I always enjoy the visits from the Puppies Behind Bars trainer.  I get to pick his brain about Bear and his habits and it is always reassuring that we are still functioning well together as a team.  I know Bear loves seeing his old buddies as well.  :o)


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