A few weeks ago I contacted Puppies Behind Bars asking for them to come and get Bear. He did nothing wrong and I love him very much still, but there were a few reasons why I felt like right now wasn’t a good time to have him. My main reasoning for asking them to take him back is that he wasn’t getting to go out with me a lot and I felt he was way too good of a service dog to just sit around the house. I thought that he should go back to his organization so he can be helping someone else. I can only hope they continue to allow him to be a service dog and not a therapy dog. If he was just going to be a therapy dog I would have kept him. My second reason for asking that Bear find a new Veteran is that I feel like I have a lot on my plate. I am so overwhelmed with everything. I have a close family member who has been given months to live due to cancer. This has weighed heavy on my heart and I guess it has gotten me down enough that I am in this “clear my life” phase. I am going through my belongings getting rid of things and I just want to take away as much responsibility as I can. I have three amazing kids that I am responsible for and my time and energy needs to be devoted to them right now. I am also taking summer classes. It does feel weird going to school without my service dog, but I am managing it one day at a time.
For the future, I do intend, when my youngest is a little older, on either finding another organization to apply to or finding a good trainer for another service dog. See, Bear was never “my” dog. He always belonged to Puppies Behind Bars, and he was never going to be “mine”. It is certainly a wonderful organization and Bear helped me in SO many ways (school being the number one way!) and I would still recommend them to anyone, so I hope no one thinks that there is any animosity there. I am so happy knowing they will find Bear another Veteran to love him the way I did. That dog was my LIFE for years and he deserves to be working. I hope my act of doing what was in his best interest over my feelings can be seen here. I do hurt without him here and sometimes wonder if I made a mistake, but I can’t be selfish with him.