I started this blog to talk about my service dog, Bear, and the road to get him and what like was like with him.  Now he is gone (read last blog entry from July) and I haven’t used this blog for many other reasons aside from expressing my sadness and loss of my dear Uncle in August.

I know I am somewhat known for wearing my heart and emotions on my sleeve, but there is something going on with me that I have kept to myself and very limited family.  Well.. I did bring it up once on Facebook to try to get ideas on what could be going on, but as I researched more, I realized that I needed to start writing more down about what is going on. Some sort of record, since my memory sucks… big time.. 

For the last few years, almost in waves or cycles, I start getting odd symptoms.  Usually I don’t see the need to go to the doctor for them.  I hate seeing the doctor.  I’m sure most people hate seeing the doctor.  If my kid gets a 101 temp I call right away, but as for me, I try to just wait out whatever is going on with me until is gets to be just too much or interferes with my day.  These episodes almost always start the same.  I start getting a dull ache that runs from my lower back and makes my legs hurt.  Like bones hurting, not any one spot I can point to, but basically it feels very deep.  Runs from my back, my hips, my knees, my shins, my ankles, even to my toes.  Within a day or so I will realize the pain is now in my shoulders, my arms, my elbows, my wrists and fingers.  The pain wakes me up at night and I am miserable usually about a week when it will slowly go away.  

I think it was 2010 I saw my family doctor and explained what was going on.  She did blood work and ordered x-rays of my back (family history of scoliosis).  Everything came back normal so she prescribed an anti-inflammatory which I took but got no relief with.

Last month (or maybe 2 months ago?) I had it again, only this time it was hard to even walk.  The pain in my legs was almost unbearable.  Water touching me hurt, being cold hurt, being touched hurt.  I went to my new doctor who ran a lot of blood tests looking to rule out Rheumatoid arthritis, checked my iron (I was pale and just exhausted), looked for other deficiencies as well as a ton of other things.  I believe she examined me for fibromyalgia (she squeezed different parts on my arms and legs and all that good stuff) but I wasn’t tender any of those places, it all feels so deep.  The pain went away so we chalked it up maybe to the change I had in my medications.

Last week I woke up with the ache in my legs starting again.  This time I loaded up the kids and we all went out for a walk, Jonah in his little blue car and Katie rode her big wheel.  I was miserable but I wondered if maybe if I used my legs when they hurt instead of resting them it would help.  No luck.  I woke up all through the night with pain shooting through my legs.  Sunday morning I woke up with the pains running through my arms and fingers and shoulders.  I decided that I should try to get out and head to church so I wouldn’t be sitting around thinking about it all the time.  I figured I was making it worse in my mind than it really was.  I got to church and, while I was happy to see so many people there that Sunday, I was not happy that I was in so much pain and had to park in almost the furthest spot you could get (which involved having to go down a ton of steps).  It was like something out of my nightmares.  I wasn’t even sure if my legs would make it the whole way.  I wanted to cry I was in so much pain and my legs were SO TIRED.  They were so heavy, tired, dead.  I felt like I couldn’t get them to move.  I felt as though I was walking the way you see people on stilts walking.  I finally made it to church but I wasn’t even able to enjoy one of my favorite parts, which was the standing and singing.  When I stood I was in so much pain.  I couldn’t concentrate on the service because all I could feel was the pain in my arms and legs.

Since Sunday I still have dead, heavy, tired legs that ache.  I went back to my doctor, was diagnosed with strep throat (with no pain or fever, but blisters, puss and red throat), gave more blood for more tests, but still no answers.

I have never thought to look into my vaccines from the Air Force.  My doctor mentioned it.  I came home and started looking into my Anthrax vaccines.  The thing that came up was the link to MS and I also found that there were a lot of people who show “neurological symptoms that mimic MS”.  

No matter what comes of these tests, I thought it would be a good time to start documenting my symptoms daily.  So my next blog will be today’s symptoms so far (it’s only 8am here but I have a minute to do it so I may as well).

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